Monday 28 January 2019 by Gary Stanton

Theresa May apologises to nation involved in her car crash


Theresa May involved in car crash

Theresa May has finally apologised to an entire nation that involved in an ongoing, completely avoidable car crash.

The belated apology, two and a half years too late, follows the Prime Minister’s decision to pull out too soon, without being aware of the oncoming hazards of mass unemployment, economic catastrophe and excessively curved bananas.

A contrite Mrs May admitted she will emerge from the crash unscathed, but the other occupants of the country will have their lives wrecked, their families torn apart and nobody left to clean their windscreens.

The public, meanwhile, insist they were expecting more from the PM – at the very least a card and some shitty flowers.

In an open letter to the public, Theresa May wished her subjects a “speedy recovery” and confessed that she had failed to see the disaster coming because the sun was in her eyes.

UK citizen, Simon Williams, who has suffered greatly, said, “I have a badly sprained wrist, mainly as a result of fantasising about a second referendum.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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