The hitherto humdrum and boring day of a group of train passengers has been livened up by a group of likeable and entertaining football fans.
The fans were welcomed by people with whom they found themselves sharing a carriage, especially when they immediately set about arranging a sing-song about the sexual failings and parentage of members of the Manchester United squad.
A large amount of cheap alcohol consumed only added to the carefree, party atmosphere they brought to the 45-minute journey.
“There were six of them, which made me feel really relaxed and comfortable when they started talking to me,” said passenger Simone Williams.
“Their interest in the book I was reading was sincere and unforced, and I genuinely felt I could have a meaningful chat about Mister Rochester’s character flaws.
“And their compliments about my tits and the various ways they felt they might be improved helped me feel confident and fulfilled as a woman.”
When asked, the group said they hadn’t noticed the other passengers, but they were sure they would agree the referee was a twat if they’d only seen that ludicrous display last night.