Friday 25 January 2019 by Gary Stanton

We’ll find common ground when your husband finds his seat belt, nation tells Queen


Queen and Prince Philip

The Queen’s plea for the people of Britain to come together has fallen on the deaf ears of a nation too frightened to drive around rural Buckinghamshire, it has emerged.

HRH Elizabeth II urged Remainers and Brexit scum to find “common ground” and to respect the different points of view of knuckle-dragging racists and shit-thick cunts.

In a speech to the Women’s Institute, the Queen placed renewed emphasis on “community, friendship and never losing sight of the bigger picture”.

Meanwhile, recipients of her message placed the same emphasis on respecting other road users, slowing the fuck down and never losing sight of your rear-view mirror.

Her speech chimed well with younger members of the audience who agreed on the need to find fresh challenges and opportunities, just as Prince Phillip should agree on the necessity of a fresh appointment with his optician with a view to locating his fucking hazard lights.

And with the UK set to crash out of the EU without a deal unless MPs can agree on the way forward, experts pointed out that the way forward is currently cordoned off by police while the emergency services attend to innocent drivers practically maimed by the Duke of Edinburgh.

The public also agreed the greatest risk to public safety comes not from the predicted civil unrest, but being tailgated around the Home Counties by some over-privileged arsehole in a Range Rover.

EU sycophant and yellow-bellied traitor, Simon Williams, said, “Brexit may result in the loss of my job and the forthcoming food shortages will probably give me rickets, but none of these endangers my life like a 97-year-old member of the Royal family crashing onto my bonnet after failing to indicate at a junction.

“If the Queen really wants to send a message, it should be something like Royalty Has Right of Way, Dangerous Prince Ahead or Clunk Click every fucking trip.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: