Confused Plan B to be presented to Parliament

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Plan B is wondering why Theresa May has asked him to come round at about three o’clock this afternoon as he doubts it’s to discuss the hip-hop scene, according to sources.

May, who has been ordered by parliament to present Plan B to the House, is planning to do exactly that but really can’t help but wonder what the point is when she’s got a lot of work to be getting on with.

The rapper, who had several Number One hits half a decade ago, is going to bring along several rough cuts of his new album as he thinks maybe MPs are interested in the reality of inner-city living, because, well, there’s a first time for everything.

“When MPs ordered Theresa May to bring Plan B in she was a bit surprised, but Parliamentarians do go through these phases where they try and be cool and down with the kids by knocking around with an artist who was popular five years ago,” insiders told us.

Observers say that this whole thing won’t advance Brexit one single inch, but it’ll be fun to watch Jacob Rees-Mogg trying to understand what’s going on now.

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