Friday 18 January 2019 by Lucas Wilde

Remainer demands that Romeo and Juliet be rewritten as he didn’t like the ending


Romeo and Juliet

A remain voter is asking for one of Shakespeare’s most famous works to be done over as he didn’t like how it panned out.

Romeo and Juliet is the tragic romance of two star-crossed lovers from warring families. One thing leads to another and they both end up dying in the final scene.

“And that really isn’t very nice,” said Simon Williams, who voted Remain in the referendum on EU membership.

“I wanted them to live happily ever after like in the nice stories about love. Let’s have it rewritten. Can we call William Shakespeare and ask for him to rewrite it, please?

“He’s dead? Well, that’s just typical cowardice. Make a big mess, run away and leave us to pick up the pieces. What about John Grisham? He could have a stab at it – no pun intended.”

Professor of English Literature, Hayley Rice, said “No.

“This is the ending, that is the result. We can’t go back and change it I’m afraid.

“Unless it turns out Shakespeare was a nonce, in which case we’ll be wiping out his work altogether a la Kevin Spacey.”

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