Thursday 17 January 2019 by Gary Stanton

97-year-old boy racer flips car


Duke of Edinburgh flips car

A boy racer, 97, has once again endangered lives by driving erratically while out on the nation’s roads.

The Duke of Edinburgh, who is married to the Queen, was pulled from the wreckage of his Range Rover in scenes reminiscent of the accident he may have arranged twenty years ago in Paris.

In the latest incident, the Duke managed to walk free away from the carnage unscathed, which is more than can be said for the occupants of the Mercedes S280 that were swerved into in the Paris underpass in August 1997.

Prince Philip was said to be tailgating an Audi containing the recently married Meghan Markle when his vehicle left the road at considerable speed, causing injury to a stationary cow and a row of beech trees.

The Duke later emerged from the heap of twisted metal muttering obscenities at the locals, which is par for the course according to everyone who knows him.

Meanwhile, the accident has left most of the planet asking just what the fuck a ninety-seven-year-old is doing behind the wheel as massive 4×4, youthful reptilian DNA notwithstanding.

President of the Automobile Association, Simon Williams, said, “Inevitably there will be calls for the Duke to give up his driving licence after this incident that appears to be an attempt to spoil the happiness of a young, mixed race couple through the use of lethal force.

“However, statistically speaking, young male drivers are still far more likely to crash within six months of passing their test than older drivers, even if the latter might have a track record of arranging fatal accidents to deal with nuisance relatives.

“Prince Philip might want to consider upgrading his insurance from fire, third party and theft, to fire and third party funeral expenses.”

The Duke added, “Lighten up for heaven’s sake. I only meant to give her a fright.”

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