Wednesday 16 January 2019

Theresa May grateful that vote of no confidence was called by only MP less popular than she is


Jeremy Corbyn calls vote of no confidence

Theresa May will face a vote of no confidence in parliament this evening but is relieved that the vote was called by the only MP in the houses of parliament with a lower approval rating than hers.

After losing a vote on her Brexit deal by 230 votes, opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn called a vote of no confidence just a few minutes after being invited to do so by the beleaguered prime minister.

Backbench MP Simon Williams told us, “In any other circumstance, a crushing parliamentary defeat followed by a vote of no-confidence on their government would mean the end of a prime minister – but Theresa is extremely lucky that her opposite number is Jeremy Corbyn.

“Make no mistake, even the MPs on her own side think she’s incompetent, dull, and completely lacking in any of the key strengths required to be a good leader in such troubled times. But she shines like a beacon when compared to Jeremy, and that fact will be her saviour.

“The two worst possible candidates for prime minister are Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn, and she’s very fortunate to be facing the one MP who makes her look ‘not that shit after all’.”

However, Labour supporters have insisted that the vote of no confidence will definitely lead to a general election that will ultimately see Jeremy Corbyn moving into number 10.

Labour member Dave Matthews told us, “Just because no-one in her parliamentary majority is going to vote against her, and we’re currently four points behind the Tories in the polls – despite everything – doesn’t mean I’m not still utterly convinced we’ll be celebrating tonight.

“No, shut up, you’re the idiot.”

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