Tuesday 15 January 2019

Man furious at Gillette for ‘bullying is bad’ advert perfectly happy to be targeted by ‘this product helps you get sex’ adverts


Man shaving Gillette advert

Commercial companies should not be using sensitive subjects such as bullying and toxic masculinity to promote their products, and should instead focus on implying their products help men have more sex, according to Simon Williams this morning.

Williams, who first learned of a new Gillette advert that won’t run in the UK on Twitter, and immediately took huge offence, spoke out against the sentiment behind the advert, insisting capitalist entities should stick to promoting their products using sex.

He explained, “What possible interest do I as a consumer have in razors and bullying? None. None whatsoever.

“But I have a great deal of interest in knowing that a product can make me more attractive to the opposite sex and could see me get laid more often. This is what advertising should be for.

“When I see a razor advert I want to see the heavy implication that using seven blades instead of six blades is far more likely to get an attractive woman to stroke my face. That’s what razor adverts should be like.”

Williams also went on to say he has no problem with adverts for gambling companies seeking to lure in naive consumers with the promise of untold riches, but anything that implies men ‘could be nicer’ should be banned with immediate effect.

He went on, “Again, that’s how companies are supposed to work.

“They’re supposed to be manipulative shits desperate to separate morons from their money. How dare they try and promote a social issue designed to make our lives a little better while also promoting their products? Do they think we’re all cucks?

“I assure you, I’ll never use a Gillette ever again. From today onward I’ll switch to whichever brand of razor implies they can get me the quickest blowjob.”

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