Tuesday 15 January 2019 by Pete Redfern

Donald Trump devastated after having to share his usual daily order of 300 burgers with visitors to the White House


Donald Trump white house burgers

President Trump cried himself to sleep yesterday after being forced to share his supper with a national college football championship winners, the Clemson Tigers.

After his catering staff upped and left due to the ongoing government shutdown, Trump was forced to share his regular Monday evening order of three hundred burgers plus fries and pizza on the side with the football team, who had been booked in to visit the White House long before Trump threw his current tantrum over the border wall.

“These visitors needed feeding,” explained the one remaining aide who drew the short straw to stay with the President, “but there were no kitchen staff to cook up the usual fine cuisine laid on for guests.

“Normally President Trump comes down and joins visitors for dinner after he’s spied on Ivanka having her early evening shower, and then retreats to his own bedroom to tuck into a mountain of grease and carbohydrates while watching his favourite Stormy Daniels porno.

“But this time we had to convince him to share his food with the football team, at which point he simultaneously howled and soiled himself before agreeing only after we lied and told him it might improve how he is viewed in the media.”

Trump’s doctor, Chuck Williams, told us, “I have a feeling this government shutdown won’t last long.

“I warned Donald that he is only about fifteen buckets of deep-fried chicken away from a massive myocardial infarction, and so now he just orders pizza and burgers to be on the safe side.”

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