Monday 14 January 2019 by Lucas Wilde

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse spotted near Westminster


four horsemen spotted near westminster

The fabled Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have been spotted eating lunch at a Westminster cafe.

Death, Famine, War and Conquest will soon saddle up and ride to Parliament where they will set up camp in preparation for tomorrow’s Brexit vote.

“We’re all jolly excited,” said Conquest.

“Well, I am anyway. The other three aren’t known for being the happy-go-lucky types, of course.”

Death said, “A MOST PRODUCTIVE DAY AWAITS.

“I AM HERE FOR THERESA MAY’S POLITICAL CAREER.

“DUE TO AN INCREASE IN LIFE EXPECTANCY, I NOW COLLECT DEAD CAREERS AS WELL AS DEAD PEOPLE IN ORDER TO KEEP MY BUSINESS AFLOAT.

“I’M BRINGING MY BEST SCYTHE, IT HAS MINIMAL FARMING DAMAGE.”

War quietly chuckled, “We’re getting a civil war, unless I’m very much mistaken.

“I would say this is like Christmas come early but I hate Christmas as that’s when people usually call a truce. So let’s say it’s like Boxing Day come early.”

Famine said, “I’ve enjoyed your feeble, far-too-late attempts at stockpiling food.

“You’re probably not going to starve, but you are going to have less food than you would like, which is the Western, first world version of a famine, so my presence here is entirely justified.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: