Wednesday 9 January 2019

‘Next to’ the laundry basket basically the same as ‘in’ the laundry basket, insists man


clothes close to the laundry basket

A man is steadfastly insisting that dirty clothes placed next to the laundry basket are as good as in the laundry basket, according to sources close to the incident today.

Simon Williams, 35, spoke out after being berated by his partner for the third time this week for throwing his pyjamas into the general vicinity of the basket, rather than opening the lid and placing them inside.

He told our source, “Inside, outside, next to, close to, on top of – these are all perfectly acceptable places to put dirty laundry before it gets washed.

“We’re not living in some puritanical regime where the rules have to be strictly adhered to for fear of angering the laundry Gods. It’s just a two-bed semi Bracknell.

“I’ve not burned down the house. It’s just some pants and some gym kit, it’s got to be picked up to be washed anyway, so what difference does it make if it’s picked up from inside, or next to the laundry basket?”

Williams’ partner Debbie told our source that it actually makes a great deal of difference.

She said, “The laundry basket is not a basketball hoop, and falling short with a shot from the other side of the room is not deserving of your commentator’s impression and telling a fictional crowd that you ‘just missed the three-pointer’.

“It’s difficult to argue about housekeeping standards when you’re living with a 35-year-old who is going on 13.  Unfortunately, the only way to communicate with him is to talk to him in his own language.

“So I’ll be clear, either the clothes go inside the basket, or you don’t go inside me. Capiche?”

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