Jeremy Corbyn to be told about Brexit

author avatar by 5 years ago

Sooner or later someone is going to have to tell Jeremy Corbyn and his team about Brexit, experts have warned.

Senior political analysts are working round the clock to come up with ways to inform the Labour leader that an involved and highly contentious process of Britain leaving the EU is taking place, right now, and to ask him if possibly he might care to be involved in some way – given that he leads her majesty’s official opposition.

Strategies this far suggested include leaving him alone for a period of time with his own party’s membership and voters, many of whom are quite vocal on the subject – although it has been suggested he might find engaging with them both stressful and confusing.

Initial tests on figures close to Corbyn resulted in a close aide having an attack of the vapours and needing a sit down after the word ‘deal’ was mentioned.

“We’ve got something to work with,” we were told.

NewsThump Hoodies

“We’re confident that Jeremy has heard of Europe, which is a start, and he occasionally mentions ‘Theresa May’ and ‘Capitalist Club’ which gives us hope that he’s at least vaguely aware there is an ‘EU’ as a general concept.

“Although we’ve no idea how we’re going get him jigged up and involved in this process within the next month or two. He says he’s got some important chutney to make for Nicholas Maduro over the weekend.”

Sources close to the Labour leader declared Brexit to be a secondary matter, as Israel is much more important.