Wednesday 9 January 2019 by Lucas Wilde

Builders hugely impressed by Donald Trump’s inability to build a wall on time


British Builder impressed by Donald Trump

Builders across the UK have been left inspired by Donald Trump not starting some building work almost two years after he promised he would.

Despite promising that work would begin “on day one”, no construction has yet begun on the infamous border wall between the USA and Mexico.

“That old chestnut,” snorted builder, Simon Williams.

“It’s what we in the business call a classic ‘DBT’, or ‘done by Thursday’, which nothing ever is, obviously.

“Trump would have made a fine builder with delay tactics like that, and I’m sure he would have enjoyed some outdoor work to build up a natural tan for a change, the freak.

“Plus we all love a good wolf-whistle at a lady. He’d have fit right into the team, assuming Miguel would have gone back to Spain by then, of course.”

“Most of all we’re impressed by his promise / delivery ratio.  It’s difficult to make this many promises about a building project and deliver on literally none of them.

The whole ‘mexico will pay for it’ thing was genius, and a great way to win the contract in the first place – but now that he’s blaming someone else for not paying for it, and citing this as the reason for not starting work? Brilliant. All builders could learn something from him.

A White House spokesperson said, “President Trump is dedicated to getting this wall built, and work will begin as soon as he gets the right part from the manufacturer, who are proper dragging their feet this time around.

“We just got off the blower to them having given them a right earful, so don’t you worry, love.”

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