Wednesday 19 December 2018

“Stupid Woman” the nicest thing anyone has said to Theresa May in months


Jeremy Corbyn calls Theresa May a stupid woman

Whitehall insiders have secretly revealed that Downing Street is actually quite touched by the kind words directed at Theresa May by Jeremy Corbyn during parliamentary questions today.

During a fractious round of question, the opposition leader took time out to mouth the words “stupid woman” at the prime minister, in a show of solidarity to illustrate that some people think she’s merely incompetent and out of her depth, rather than the Machiavellian villain of the piece secretly intent of ruining life as we know it.

As one party official told us, “Theresa has been called everything under the sun in the last 18 months, but I think it’s fair to say that in context ‘stupid woman’ is about as harsh as a back rub and a cup of tea – and she recognises that show of support from the Labour front benches.

“People in her own party have called her far worse, and many of them have spent months trying to ruin her career, so questioning her intellect while recognising her gender would certainly count as Jeremy Corbyn’s good deed for the day.

“For example, Jacob Rees-Mogg has burned several effigies of her, and Boris has taken to wearing a “Theresa is a C*nt” t-shirt to party meetings.

“So implying she’s a bit dim is, in reality, quite a touching show of solidarity by someone who is also often thought of as a bit dim.”

Labour officials have defended Jeremy Corbyn’s kind words, insisting we call it an ‘outburst’, and have asked that we recognise that this incident is as close to swearing that Jeremy has come since Margaret Thatcher won the 1987 general election.

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