Wednesday 19 December 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Lewis Hamilton clarifies that he is “very proud to have come from that shithole of a town”


Lewis hamilton on stevenage

Lewis Hamilton has apologised to anyone from Stevenage who he may have offended with his “wholly accurate description”.

The jumped-up little bellend faced a storm of criticism after his acceptance speech for the Sports Personality of the Year runner-up prize (which ludicrously suggests that Lewis Hamilton has the second best personality in sport).

In his speech, Hamilton said it had been his dream to “get out of the slums” while growing up in the Hertfordshire town.

“Fine, sorry, whatever,” said Hamilton.

“…sorry you lot still LIVE THERE! HAHAHAHA!

“Sorry, sorry, just a joke, just a joke, I chose the wrong words. Stevenage is a lovely town, it really is. I mean, if you want a betting shop or a sub-par takeaway, it’s a positive goldmine.

“If living there made me tax-exempt, I’d definitely still live there. Absolutely. Who wouldn’t? It’s the Monaco of Hertfordshire, just as Monaco is often described as the Stevenage of the French Riviera.”

Hayley Rice, who lives in Stevenage, said, “I’m no detective, but I think he’s being a little disingenuous.

“Stevenage is fine – but of course it’s not Monaco or Dubai. Nowhere in the UK is. Most of our towns are at least a bit rubbish.

“Calling Stevenage a ‘slum’ is a stretch, but then my perspective hasn’t been utterly fucked into a tin hat after years of breathtaking amounts of money and praise for driving a car really fast.”

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