Tuesday 18 December 2018 by Davywavy

Sudden activity from Labour Party blamed on ‘someone slipping Viagra in Jeremy’s cocoa’


Jeremy Corbyn viagra in cocoa

A sudden flurry of activity from the Labour party yesterday has been traced to someone slipping a viagra into Jeremy Corbyn’s bedtime cocoa.

Corbyn, 103, is known to like a mug of the delicious beverage to send him off to the land of nod at his sleepytime of 7:30 PM, but the addition caused him to run about threatening to do something for almost half an hour before dozing off.

“He had a real hard-on for trashing Theresa May that lasted much longer than the usual minute or two. It was that which tipped us off something had happened,” Party insiders told us.

“It was put the no-confidence motion in, withdraw, stick it in, withdraw for literally minutes before it all got too much for him and he needed a sit-down and a copy of Gardener’s World magazine.

“It was only when we found the blue residue at the bottom of his mug after we’d finally got him into bed at gone nine that we realised what had been going on.”

An internal inquiry has been called to identify the viagra-slipping culprit, although his ex-girlfriend Diane Abbott has already been ruled out.

“She’s been there once and nobody can imagine anyone wanting to do it again,” we were told.

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