Monday 17 December 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Lip-reader confirms Theresa May told Juncker “shove it up your bollocks, you pissed-up slag”


Theresa May Jean Claude Juncker lip reading

Theresa May has finally snapped.

Following months of pressure, scrutiny and absolute fuckery from her own party colleagues, the Prime Minister took Jean-Claude Juncker to task after he described Mrs may’s Brexit position as “nebulous” (which means “vague”, apparently).

Lip-reader, Simon Williams, confirmed “and I’ll…tell you something else…I may be nebulous…but at least…I’m fucking sober…which is more than can be said for you…you jumped-up sack…of shit…and wine.

“Blimey. She really laid into him.

“She must have really snapped. I was under the impression she had to keep him on-side while she tried to get the deal through.

“I guess you could see it coming when she marched up to him and opened with “hello, fuckface”, which I don’t believe is one from the Big Book of Diplomacy.”

A spokesperson from ten downing street said, “Reports of the Prime Minister’s angry stance have been grossly overstated.

“That being said, the Prime Minister has made it clear that anybody else who fancies talking balls behind her back can meet her outside Downing Street so that she can knock them the fuck out- her words, not mine.”

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