Friday 14 December 2018 by Neil Tollfree

Hipster racist into antisemitism before it was cool


Hipster racist

A hipster racist has criticised many antisemites as ‘just being trendy,’ and claims he was into it long before it was cool.

Simon Williams, a graphic designer from Shoreditch with a beard the size of Wiltshire, supped a frappalappawappachino as he explained that he’d been into antisemitism for ages.

“Believing that a shadowy Jewish cabal is in charge of all media? I’ve been doing that for ages,” he said proudly.

“Deliberately conflating the actions of the Israeli government with the thoughts and beliefs of all Jewish people everywhere? What, you think that’s an original thing to do?”

He also decried modern antisemitism as ‘mealy-mouthed’.

“Don’t just say ‘funded by George Soros,’ say what you mean, say ‘funded by Jews, who I don’t like.’ Own it.

“If you see an article that could be seen as supportive to Jewish people, don’t just comment ‘on the payroll,’ that’s rubbish antisemitism. You’ve got to go for it.”

Mr Williams went on to say that although antisemitism is under the spotlight now, he’ll still be into it when it inevitably becomes unfashionable.

He explained, “Look, antisemitism is trendy now and everyone’s into it and that’s great, but I don’t follow trends so when all the so-called ‘cool’ racists are back having a go a hijabs, I’ll still be saying that Jews are the ones who really run everything and they probably harvest organs.”

Mr Williams then left as he was late for a lecture entitled ‘How to pretend you’re not racist by claiming you’re actually anti-zionist’.

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