Tuesday 11 December 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Intruder tasered and arrested at Westminster before being asked if HE can fix Brexit


Man tasered at Parliament

A man has been tasered and arrested at the palace of Westminster before being consulted on his ideas for a sensible Brexit plan.

The man, who has not been named, hopped the railings and into the grounds before being swiftly tasered, tackled and probably kicked a bit by Westminster police, before being bundled into a police van and immediately taken to a Brexit advisory meeting.

“He had no plan, no idea what he was doing, with only a vaguely articulated goal in mind,” said Brexit minister, Simon Williams.

“So he is absolutely perfect for our Brexit negotiation team. It’s that sense of vague determination that has made the whole process the shimmering success it has been so far.

“But we could still use all the help we can get, despite that aforementioned success. So some nutter off the street will do at this point.”

The unnamed man said, “I am seriously out of my depth here, but it seems like everyone else at the table is too.

“There aren’t even any pens.”

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