Friday 7 December 2018 by Neil Tollfree

White, straight man pretty happy sexism, homophobia and racism all sorted out now


White straight man think everything ok now

A white, straight man has announced that he is satisfied that homophobia, racism and sexism are now all sorted out and we don’t need to worry about any of that anymore.

Simon Williams, an IT consultant from Chipping Norton, made the announcement at a local pub as he ordered a pint of real ale.

“Let’s be honest,” he began, promisingly.

“Trendy right-on people go on about homophobia and sexism and racism, and giving more rights to gays, black people and girls.

“But what they’ve got to realise is that we’ve sorted all that now, in the real world everyone treats black people, women and gays as if they were normal.

“In my company, you be sacked for calling someone the n-word, and rightly so. If that’s not proof there is no longer a racism issue in this country, then I don’t know how I can help you.

Mr Williams went on to explain that he was fine with women and even homosexuals in the workplace.

“We’ve got Mrs Stewart who’s in charge of HR. Now, she must have got that job on merit because you’ve only to look at her to know it wasn’t for her looks.

“Also, there’s Toby, he’s one of the coders. He’s a bender and no one’s got any sort of problem with that.

“I mean, obviously you don’t want to spend too much time talking to him on your own in case he gets the wrong idea, but in a group, he’s fine. A good laugh actually.

“It’s not the 1970s any more people. It’s sorted now, we don’t need you all banging on about more rights for women, blacks, or homosexuals.”

Mr Williams was clear about what society should be focusing on.

He went on, “Thing is, we’ve spent ages focusing on rights for all of that lot and we haven’t really thought about rights for normal blokes like me.

“I haven’t had any new rights for ages.”

Mr Williams then settled back in his chair and enjoyed the rugby match on television.

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