Wednesday 5 December 2018

Nigel Farage quits UKIP to spend more time with his ego


Nigel Farage quits UKIP

Former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has quit the party entirely after deciding to spend more time with his ego.

The move comes after the realisation he is no longer the most racist face associated with the party after current leader appointed Tommy Robinson as an official advisor on grooming gangs.

As one UKIP insider told us, “Nigel is a very proud man, and facing the dawning realisation that fewer and fewer people were picturing him when they thought of ‘that UKIP racist’.

“He has prided himself on being the face of UKIP’s anti-immigrant sentiment, and now people are starting to see that face as belonging to Tommy Robinson. So what’s the point of him hanging around?

“He’s either got to be the number one racist in the party, or not even a member.”

Political analysts have expressed surprise at Farage’s decision to leave the party over its current fixation with Muslims, given he will, at the first opportunity, run to American news channels to bleat on about no-go areas in the UK caused by Muslim immigrants.

They went on, “After the London bridge attack he ran to Fox News to tell them about wholly Muslim no-go areas in London, so I can only assume his complaints about UKIP today stem from them not being loud enough about the ‘Muslim problem’?

“Still if there’s one thing Nigel Farage loves above all others, it’s Nigel Farage. So I’m sure all the free time he’s found himself with can be spent massaging his ego until Question Time inevitably gives him yet another ring.”

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