Dominic Raab tells parents he rejects toy deal and they should “go back to Santa”

author avatar by 5 years ago

Former Brexit secretary Dominic Raab, who recently tore up his letter to Father Christmas, has backed his parents to “go back to the North Pole” and “be tougher”.

Despite his tantrum just two weeks ago, Mr Raab was surprisingly complimentary of his parents, stating “my dad is bigger than yours and would defo give Santa what for”.

He told reporters, “They should go back to the elves, stop being blackmailed and bullied, make their best final offer, on the terms that would be palatable.

“I voted for my full Christmas list, so anything else than my full Christmas list would be a betrayal of me. No wonder I am losing faith in Santa and my parents.”

He added if that failed, they should be prepared to walk away without anything at all.

He went on, “We’re more likely to get a common sense approach to my Christmas list if they know we’re serious about walking away from a lousy plastic toy, which is what this is.”

The row started after it was revealed that Raab’s parents had negotiated a deal on a toy space rocket instead of the real thing, “which it was clear I was asking for when the Christmas list was agreed”.

Raab added, “Mummy says a toy rocket is better than no rocket at all, but I cannot support an imaginary arrangement, where I have no ability to exit Earth”.

He said he felt there was a “range of technical solutions which coupled with goodwill and Christmas cheer could resolve the issue”.

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!