Theresa May tells Parliament ‘I would have shared full legal advice on Brexit deal but the dog ate it’

author avatar by 5 years ago

Theresa May has told Parliament that she wanted to publish the full legal advice on her Brexit deal but, sadly, her dog ate it before she had a chance to do so.

She went on to say that the legal advice definitely said that her deal was brilliant and everyone should vote for it.

“I put it to the House,” said the Prime Minister

“That I stayed up late last night, working really hard to prepare the full legal advice on my Brexit deal to hand into Parliament.

“I’d put everything in a really professional looking binder and everyone would have been really impressed with how much work I’d put into it.”

However, the problems appear to have begun this morning.

She went on, “I woke up and came downstairs this morning and put the full legal advice on my Brexit deal by the front door so I wouldn’t forget it, because I’d worked so hard and I wanted you all to see it.

“Then I went and had some coco-pops for my breakfast, and when I came back, the dog had eaten the whole full legal advice on my Brexit deal!

“There was just a few bits of professional-looking binder on the floor.

“I locked the dog in the coal shed as punishment and came straight here because I didn’t want to be late for Parliament.

“What I can commend to the house is that the full legal advice on my Brexit deal said that it was brilliant and you should all definitely vote for it.”

It is also understood that the Prime Minister had prepared an extensive list of reasons why Brexit is brilliant and why we should definitely press on with it despite the whole thing being a complete catastrophe that has left Great Britain with less credibility as a country than Freedonia.

But the dog ate that as well.