If HP Lovecraft wrote clickbait

author avatar by 5 years ago

HP Lovecraft is regarded as one of the most influential writers of the 20th century, but he really did use a hundred words where one would do.

How would he have managed in the internet age, an era of fast media and short attention? How could he have got his tales of lurking, existential horror and dread read by an audience when you’re only as good as your last click?

“You won’t believe what they found at these Antarctican mountains!”

“Morticians hate him! Doctors shocking discovery reanimates dead!”

“Top ten celebrities who don’t want you to know they’re fish-men!”

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“Hot Dunwich babes want to hook up with you right now.”

“What do your dreams mean? The answer will astound you!”

“You’ll love this American housewife’s one weird trick for cheating physical death”

“This one incredible time-travelling mind will change your life forever!”

“This guy dug up an old church. You won’t believe what happened next!”

“How to avoid wearing the wrong colour out of space this season.”

“Ten shocking truths about reality that will blow your mind!”

“Is THIS hiding in your wall?”

“Stare at this book and then click ‘like’. You won’t believe what happens next!”

“Owning this one book is the biggest predictor of horror, madness and screaming death.”

“This oracle draws back its veil and the unthinkable happens! Watch now!”

“This guy shouts into an ancient tomb for his friend.  What happens next makes my jaw drop!”

“Which unspeakable text are you? Take our quiz and find out.”

“Is there non-Euclidian geometry in YOUR house?”