‘I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday’ banned for disrespecting other religious festivals

author avatar by 5 years ago

Wizzard’s classic Christmas song is being banned by several radio stations due to its obvious contempt for other religious holidays.

It’s been a staple of the Christmas airwaves since 1973 but now the glam rock classic ‘I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday’ is being reassessed in the age of cultural sensitivity.

“It’s a vile little song,” said radio presenter Simon Williams.

“If it was always the 25th December then it could never be, say, Ramadan which takes place in May/June this year and it could never be Diwali which is celebrated in the autumn.

“Roy Wood is basically singing, ‘I wish Muslims weren’t free to express their religious beliefs. I wish Hindus were oppressed and never got the chance to light the skies with their heathen fireworks’.

“Appallingly, the song prominently features a children’s choir. What a heinous message to put in the mouths of babes. I certainly won’t be playing it on my show.”

The Wizzard tune isn’t the only seasonal song to be criticised by contemporary listeners.

‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ is facing a similar ban after several leading child psychologists pointed out that witnessing parental infidelity and exposure to sexual acts at a young age were potentially incredibly damaging life events.

John Lennon’s ‘Happy Christmas (War is Over)’ has been accused of western cultural hegemony by ignoring the fact that in many places war isn’t over at all.

Several people have pointed out that the carbon footprint implications of ‘Driving Home for Christmas’ are completely glossed over.

And obviously the less said about White Christmas the better.

It’s not all doom and gloom though. Everyone can still enjoy listening to ‘Mistletoe and Wine’ on repeat for the next month – after all, there’s nothing wrong with getting someone drunk and then forcing them to kiss you because a plant says so.