Monday 3 December 2018 by Chris Ballard

Gay men ‘worried’ about the number of Catholics joining their community


Pope on homosexuals

Homosexuals have said that Catholicism in the gay community is a ‘serious matter’ that ‘worries’ them.

A number of senior gay men and women have said that they consider membership of the Catholic Church to be somewhat problematic.

Pillar of the gay community Simon Williams said, “The question of Catholicism is a very serious one.

“The difficult truth is that people with deep-rooted Catholic beliefs probably shouldn’t be allowed into the gay community.

“Even if they sign up to Grindr and take a vow of promiscuity all that Catholic guilt inevitably ends up being extremely damaging to our reputation.

“Look, we’re not saying that Catholicism is ‘wrong’ per se. Our official position is that it’s okay to harbour Catholic inclinations but it’s definitely not okay to act upon them.

“Sitting in a dark room while you whispering all of your secrets and desires to a bloke in a dress is just too weird.”

The Vatican has responded to the comments of the homosexual community with outrage.

“The gays should be ashamed of themselves,” said the Pope. “The Catholic Church prides itself on being a tolerant and inclusive family.

“Just because we practice the original Christian faith doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy sharing our bodies with members of the same sex.

“The gay community needs to realise that this is the twenty-first century and people should be free to make whatever lifestyle choices they want.

“I’m the Pope for God’s sake and when it comes to cock I’m like Pac-Man – gobble, gobble, gobble.”

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