Friday 23 November 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Simba is a vegan in new Lion King film


Lion king remake Simba will be a vegan

The Lion King has been remade for a modern audience.

The remake of the film, due for release in 2019, stars all of the old favourite characters such as Simba, Mufasa, Rafiki and that girl lion what Simba slyly yet definitely banged onscreen in the original children’s cartoon.

“And he’s a vegan,” confirmed Disney spokesperson, Simon Williams.

“Simba decides to go vegan after watching his dad getting run over by a load of wildebeest and concluding the stampede never would have happened if nobody was trying to eat them all the time.

“We’ve written a new song for Simba to sing about how much he loves tofu. Zazu does a little rap halfway through.

“Towards the end of the film, Simba attempts to defeat Scar via a series of protests and petitions, which inevitably doesn’t work.

“Simba then develops an iron deficiency which means Scar is fairly able to just kick the shit out of him in the final battle.

“It’s a new direction for the franchise, certainly, but we’re confident that everybody will enjoy this just as much as they enjoyed The Last Jedi.”

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