Friday 23 November 2018 by Alex Webster

It’s only cheap if you were going to buy it anyway, Black Friday shoppers told


Black Friday sales

People shopping for “amazing deals” this weekend have been reminded that they are not, in fact, beating the system.

Black Friday is the first Friday after Thanksgiving. A traditional American festival where families give thanks for everything they have and then follow it up by brawling over cheap TVs.

Industry experts have pointed out that most of the stock on sale is either old, or not being discounted at all.

Bargain hunter Jill Smith was ecstatic after wrestling a granny to the ground for possession of a 14” television and VHS combi.

She said, “You have to be quick to get the best deals. All the iPhone8s had already been snapped up, but I punched a security guard to get hold of a 2GB USB stick, and grabbed some CDs by rampaging through a nativity scene.

“Buying something described as a ‘deal’ makes me feel special, like a business-savvy tycoon who’s beaten the marketing bods at their own game somehow.”

Simon Williams, manager of a consumer goods store, had this to say: “You people seem to think we are buying in the very latest technology, holding on to it for a year, then selling it at a rock bottom price just before Christmas.

“That isn’t the way the consumer electronics market works. We are selling obsolete or unpopular things for the same price they’ve been all year.

“But if we stick a black tag on it, call it an ‘amazing offer’, then decent people will go completely feral over something that you’d think twice about if you saw it at a car boot sale.

“So thanks for that.”

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