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It has been revealed that the majority of MPs haven’t yet read the draft Brexit agreement because it’s really long and boring.
It has emerged today that while all MPs have full access to Theresa May’s draft Brexit deal the vast majority are waiting for a palatable summary to be published on Wikipedia before they bother reading it.
“It’s 585 pages long for fuck’s sake,” said new Brexit Secretary Stephen Barclay.
“I haven’t got time for that shit, especially not with ‘I’m a Celebrity’ just starting.
“In this day and age, there is absolutely no need for actual lengthy documents or books. I’ve read all those ‘Game of Thrones’ novels on Wikipedia and it took me about an hour.”
Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn claims that he doesn’t need to plough through the whole document to know it’s a bad deal for Britain.
“I don’t have to read nearly 600 pages to know that it’s the most badly written guff since Boris Johnson wrote that Churchill biography,” he said.
“It’s like seeing the name Dan Brown on the front of a novel – you already know at that point what a load of shite it is.”
The main delay to the deal appearing on Wikipedia is that someone needs to actually read the document in order to write up some bullet points and upload them to the ever-reliable online encyclopaedia.
A synopsis went up over the weekend which summarised the position as, “The UK agrees to be fucked in the arse by the EU and we’re going to bloody love it!”
However, it is widely believed that this is obviously the work of an inarticulate militant Brexiteer.
A Downing Street spokesman said, “No, that’s pretty much it. The PM wrote that herself.”
I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!
