Thursday 15 November 2018 by Arabin Patson

Everyone has very strong opinions about 500-page Brexit deal that no one has read


Brexit deal very long

After Theresa May announced that she had agreed on the terms of an exit deal with the EU, everybody in the nation was adamant it was awful despite the 585-page draft document having only being read by seven people so far.

Remain campaigner Amanda Tinnock, who runs the Peoples-Vote-4-EU Facebook group, insisted that every line in the novel-length deal was completely unacceptable.

She told us, “I don’t even know where to download it from, but I am certain this deal is a dire threat to our economy, is racist and was based on lies and fraud.

“I will never, ever accept it and will continue to campaign against whatever it says regarding that backstop thingy.”

This sentiment as shared by people on the other side of the Brexit divide as asserted by Simon Williams, a UKIP member and retired taxi driver.

He told everyone in earshot, “This shameful deal is nothing less than a complete betrayal of the people’s will. I am sure it says we will have to be slaves to Brussels bureaucrats and be swamped by invading hordes of migrants.

“If Theresa May passes this abject surrender through the Parliament there will be riots, mark my words. Just not on Tuesdays or Fridays because that’s when I have my physio sessions with Pavel.”

It is estimated that the full document has only been read by the 4 civil servants who drafted it, Sir Mark Sedwill, an intern at the Financial Times and her unemployed flatmate Oliver who is now applying for Irish citizenship.

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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