Thursday 15 November 2018 by Lucas Wilde

“Coup is the wrong word” says shotgun-wielding Jacob Rees-Mogg


Jacob Rees-Mogg coup with shotgun

The removal of the Prime Minister should not be described as a coup, according to the man acting quiet coup-ey this afternoon.

Those were the words of a war-painted Jacob Rees-Mogg as he brandished his shotgun while stood with the People’s Brexit Army outside Parliament this morning.

“Coup is such a crude word,” said Rees-Mogg, hurling a petrol bomb through a committee room window.

“We are going through conventional channels so that we can bring about change in a way that is beneficial to the British electorate, the majority of which voted for Brexit.”

Shouting above the chants from his soldiers, Rees-Mogg continued, “The tank is mostly for show. That said, I will drive the fucker through the front doors if necessary.”

A spokesperson for Number 10 said, “The Prime Minister is, of course, regretful that Mr Rees-Mogg has taken this course of action.

“However, ‘regretful’ does not mean ‘frightened’ and she is well up for a knife-fight with the little prick if it’s alright with his nanny.”

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