Concerned nation joins hunt for missing Boris Johnson

author avatar by 4 years ago

Concerned friends and relatives have asked the public for information on the whereabouts of vivacious self-publicist Boris Johnson, who hasn’t been seen at all today.

Boris, 54, has not been seen since the thing he campaigned so hard for really started to go to shit, and friends say him not magically appearing when a TV camera appears is ‘completely out of character’.

Members of the public have arranged search parties to look for the missing MP and are thrashing the undergrowth with large sticks just in case.

“Vanishing when things go horribly to shit was much more Gordon Brown’s sort of thing,” said search-party member Simon Williams.

“We’ve tried all the usual methods of getting in touch, such as arranging a photo opportunity and asking Jeremy Corbyn to say something particularly bananas, but he’s not turned up.

“We’ve put posters up and just hope someone, somewhere, has seen him.

“It might be we’re looking for his body,” added Simon, wistfully.

In related news, bookies odds of Boris Johnson becoming Prime Minister are now worse than those of people who’ve specifically said they won’t stand.