‘But we were pwomithed a pony’ shout tedious whiny f*cking Brexiters

author avatar by 5 years ago

Britain’s Brexiter community is all butthurt this morning after the magic fucking pony they were told they’d get failed to materialise.

Outraged at news that a whole bunch of bullshit which they’d been told didn’t exist turned out not to exist, leading Brexiters have turned to the time-honoured pursuit of blaming absolutely everyone but themselves for the consequences of their own actions.

“When I voted for a pony with no plan whatsoever of how I’d get it, and then everyone whose idea it was promptly quit when they won, I naturally expected that free ponies would be lining up around the block for me to take my pick,” said outraged whiney Internet bitch Simon Williams.

“I’m furious at this betrayal. It’s like the time I sat under a tree and voted for no apples to fall on my head. The subsequent behaviour of the apples was clearly undemocratic.

“Clearly the people who are to blame for this horrendous situation are absolutely everyone but the people who actually voted for it to happen. Seventeen million of us voted for a pony, so we demand the pony we voted for.

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However, fellow Brexiter Jason Matthews, said, “Pony? No, that’s wrong. I voted for a unicorn and I won’t settle for anything less than a unicorn.”

Matthews and Williams then got into a heated debate over which of them actually spoke for all Brexiters, with each of them insisting that everyone who voted Leave only did so for a pony/unicorn (delete as appropriate).

When asked, Remainers said, “You won, get over it.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!