Thursday 15 November 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Baldrick named as new Brexit Secretary


Baldrick names Brexit secretary

In the wake of several high-profile cabinet resignations, Theresa May has made her most sensible choice for a cabinet Minister yet.

Baldrick has been named the new Brexit Secretary, having displayed exceptional ability for cunning plans in seemingly desperate situations between the 15th and 20th centuries.

“This is definitely a step in the right direction for Brexit,” agreed political pundit, Simon Williams.

“Government insiders are already claiming that Baldrick’s cunning mind will prove to be invaluable when it comes to navigating Brexit, managing the economy and finding out exactly what the hell to do about everyone’s bins once we leave the EU.

“When your team already contains people like Michael Gove, adding Baldrick to the cabinet certainly adds some intellectual heft to the organisation – I’m sure the EU is keeping an eye on the developments.

“The appointment may seem a little out of left field, but keep in mind the last Brexit Secretary didn’t actually know what the English Channel was for.”

Not everyone was in agreement about the positive aspects of the appointment of the new Brexit Secretary.

Business leader Edmund Blackadder, said, “I don’t want to be unkind to Baldrick, but he makes it so terribly difficult to praise him.

“With that in mind, I have to say this is the worst appointment since my great-grandfather booked in for a short back and sides at Sweeney Todd’s Barber Shop.”

Baldrick said, “Thank you, Mr B, for those kind words.

“Anyway, I look forward to being Breakfast Secretary and I’m keen to get started right away. Who wants eggs?”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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