The Brexit referendum has succeeded in achieving its primary aim of settling the internal squabbles of the Tory party, the ham-faced former party leader has confirmed.
Having called the Brexit referendum in 2016 to put an end to Conservative in-fighting over the pros and cons of EU membership, David Cameron today expressed relief that it had all been worth it in the end.
Addressing reporters from his boutique writing hut, which cost him the same amount of money as an NHS nurse’s annual salary, Mr Cameron said, “I knew there was an element of risk with the Brexit referendum, the risk that it could exacerbate the divisions in the Conservative Party, or even worse divide the country.
“In the same way, I had some reservations that sticking ‘little Dave’ into a dead pig’s mouth might come back to haunt me, but I’m glad on both counts to have been proved wrong.”
He went on, “Naturally I am delighted that the gamble has paid off, and that we now have before us a government that is fully united, and a population ready and willing to embrace the leaving date in March next year.
“I couldn’t be happier to see all of Parliament coming together to take the nation forward, and how the people have spoken with one voice to back the direction in which it’s heading. And to think there are people out there who didn’t believe this was possible. Ha!
“I just wish those same people would give me a little more credit about what I still consider to be my greatest achievement.”
I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!