Tuesday 13 November 2018 by Lucas Wilde

“I refuse to be drenched in anything other than hooker piss” confirms Trump


Donald Trump prostitute piss

If it’s not urine, it’s not worth it, according to the President of the United States.

Donald Trump has faced criticism for refusing to attend an event to commemorate the soldiers of WW2, reportedly because due to the inclement weather.

“I don’t do rain, folks,” confirmed the President.

“The urine of a Russian prostitute is another matter. It’s quite something, it really is. Bigly something. Warmer than rain and enjoyable from the comfort of your own hotel room.

“It reminds me of the warming sensation I get from sending our troops to potentially shoot some Mexican immigrants in a caravan, and gives me just as big of an erection – a bigly, three-inch erection.”

A White House spokesperson said, “Look, do I HAVE to comment on this?

“Yes, of course I do, this is the world we’re in now…

“The President prefers prozzie piss over rain.

“And with that sentence, I hereby offer my resignation.”

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