Monday 12 November 2018 by Gary Stanton

Ten more Johnson brothers to resign from government this week


Boris Johnson's brother to resign

A further ten brothers of Boris Johnson are preparing to resign over Brexit, all of them blond, and all of them c*nts, it has emerged.

Jo Johnson was the second member of the large Aryan breeding experiment to stab Theresa May in the back and is set to be followed by younger brothers, Clive, Derek, Alan, Tom, Paul, Gary, Nigel and Charlie, all of whom are 35 and a half years old.

The virulent strain of Johnson DNA has populated some of England’s finest public schools and together they are believed to strongly outnumber the DUP.

However, due to a genetic mutation, the siblings are capable of independent thought and have widely divergent views on Brexit – ranging from hard to soft; and from squishy round the edges to not at all.

Derek Johnson, who has been working under brother Jo at Transport, has the ability to communicate telepathically with Gary and Paul, but not with Alan or Charlie.

Jo (not at all) has been fucking Clive’s (squishy) wife with Boris’s (hard) full knowledge, but expressed disapproval.

Meanwhile Tom (soft) is unable to tie his own shoelaces or comb his hair without Alan’s (not at all) help, but can recite Latin stanzas while fucking Boris’s ex-wife, without his knowledge, approval or advice.

Gary and Nigel , who share a hive mentality, (both soft) have senior roles within the Education Department and are both fucking each other’s wives, Canderel and Persephone, both of whom favour the vassal state option and prefer it to be on the table.

Government spokesman, Simon Williams, said, “We fear there could be another six of them in there that no one even knows about.”

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