Labour ‘leader’ Jeremy Corbyn announced a major triumph yesterday as he was finally able to beat level 653 on Candy Crush.
It is understood that the breakthrough came during a meeting with economic experts who were briefing about the catastrophic effects of Brexit on the constituencies that Mr Corbyn and Labour purport to represent.
“This is a real win for Jeremy,” said a Labour insider.
“He’d been stuck on that level for about four weeks, I believe it was the combination of random chocolate spawners with hard to reach sweet bombs that were causing him real problems.
“Happily though, he was able to use the Brexit briefing to really focus all his attention on it, as he’s not really that interested in free-movement and trade deals and all that stuff.”
Simon Williams, a staunch Corbyn supporter, was enthusiastic about the news.
“I heartily endorse whatever activity Jeremy has been involved in and condemn the MSM for not reporting on it fairly,” he said.
With the completion of this particularly tricky Candy Crush level, many people have asked if perhaps, as leader of the opposition, he could possibly do some f**king opposing of the single most catastrophic act of folly a nation has ever perpetrated on itself.
“Possibly,” replied the Labour insider.
“He just wants to finish level 654 first.”