Thursday 8 November 2018 by Gary Stanton

White House Journalist banned for touching woman’s arm by man who prefers full-on minge contact


Donald Trump, Jim Acosta

Journalist, Jim Acosta, is quietly wishing he’d been a bit more respectful towards women this morning after a bout of disgraceful arm contact resulted in him being barred from the White House.

Acosta, a rude and terrible person, who represents Fake News Channel, CNN, was seen to grope a White House Press intern during a press briefing by making gentle contact with her wrist.

Throughout his unseemly interrogation of President Trump, Acosta was witnessed brandishing the microphone as though it was an extension of his no-doubt engorged manhood.

The intern visibly recoiled at the attack and was left needing a cup of tea with lots of sugar in it to combat the effects of the instant PTSD sustained to her lower arm area.

White House press secretary Sarah Sanders said, “Every night since the attack, that’s one to be precise, that poor intern replays the incident in her mind, about how that filthy beast accidentally made contact with her exposed forearm – a good two feet away from my vulva by most estimates.

“She felt like Brookside’s Sheila Grant, taking a lengthy shower after that actual physical rape by an unnamed Liverpool taxi driver, during which he probably also held her wrists.

“I guess you could call it her very own #MeToo moment.”

Throughout the incident, the intern’s entire vagina region, incorporating clitoris, labia, any potential piercings and the bit where it goes in, remained free of intrusion from Acosta’s hands or anyone standing nearby who might have been tempted but was too busy running the country.

The intern now joins a long list of women who have yet to be fingered while working for President Trump, who is on record as never having entertained the thought.

Acosta said, “Wearing short sleeves like that – she was asking for it.”

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