Woman who is over a year late housing Grenfell victims very angry indeed about bonfire effigy

author avatar by 5 years ago

Theresa May has spoken of her outrage after an effigy of Grenfell Tower was burned on a bonfire, seemingly unaware that her promise to house all victims in three weeks is now seventy weeks overdue.

Five men have been arrested on suspicion of a public order offence for burning the effigy, and the prime minister was quick to add her voice to those criticising them to ensure it looks like she cares.

She told reporters, “What’s important here is that you publicly acknowledge my outrage at this awful incident, and not focus on my shameful inability to keep my promise to the victims of this dreadful tragedy.

“Yes, my government said those displaced by the Grenfell tower fire would be permanently rehoused within three weeks, and now seventy weeks later there are still many people without a permanent home.

“Sure, Grenfell had sort of slipped my mind, so I suppose I’m grateful for the opportunity to once again talk about how much I care about the people of Grenfell – not enough to keep my promise to them, obviously – but definitely enough for a couple of headlines.

“But seriously, focus on my outrage at the fire thingy. That’s what you should all be reporting.”

Over a year after the fire, there are still families with children living in ’emergency accommodation’, but you have been reminded that it’s more important to be angry about a bunch of stupid pricks with a bonfire.

Voter Simon Williams told us, “Yeah, I guess kids not having a home over a year after the government promised them one is bad – but these men made a model of Grenfell Tower and burned it, and I only have enough outrage for one thing at a time.