Burning Boris Johnson effigies ‘completely fine’ insists Theresa May

author avatar by 5 years ago

The Prime Minister has tweeted to say that while putting an image of Grenfell on a bonfire is obviously unacceptable it’s totally okay to burn an effigy of the former Foreign Secretary.

Theresa May has joined people across the country in condemning the idiots who put a model of Grenfell Tower on a bonfire and filmed the results.

However, she has taken a somewhat less sensitive tone when it’s her political rival who’s being immolated.

“Sadly, Boris Johnson did not lose his life in a fire,” said the Prime Minister, “So the two things simply aren’t comparable.

“Anyone who wants to pour petrol on a Boris-shaped dummy and set it alight is obviously just having a good old jape and has my full support.

“It’s actually incredibly appropriate when you think about it as the destruction of Parliament is exactly what Boris would like to achieve by becoming PM.

“Can you imagine the House of Commons turned into some sort of Bullingdon Club?

“Jeremy Hunt would be chewing the upholstery off the benches, Jacob would be drinking sherry out of Boris’ arse crack…

“The chambers would constantly be echoing with the erotic moans of fat middle-aged men and the squeals of pigs.

“It would be ghastly and a far worse fate for Parliament than a bit of gunpowder!

“So yes people of Britain, burn your Boris effigies! Make night into day with thousands of blazing mop-haired, fat twats!

Boris Johnson is currently missing. He was last seen on his way to the Downing Street bonfire night party.