Which Poppy should you wear? The complete NewsThump guide

author avatar by 5 years ago

It’s that time of year again when the debate of Red or White poppies starts up. 

You might not be aware there’s a ‘debate’ but you can tell it’s a slow news week when the media tells you there is one and encourages you to get involved.

In reality what’s happening is about six witless fucknuts on Twitter have got angry and people figure that’s good for a few clicks.

But red and white aren’t the only colours a poppy can come in. If you want to respectfully mark the anniversary of the end of WW1 whilst promoting your pet cause, what other options are there?

Yellow Poppies: Worn in remembrance of all those who died comfortably in their beds having dodged the draft.

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Green Poppies: Worn to highlight the contribution to global warming made by all those tanks and aeroplanes they use in wars.

Black Poppies: Worn by goths to highlight that warfare makes them, you know, really miserable.

Burberry checked Poppies: Worn to commemorate all those hurt in WKD Blue-fuelled brawls in the Roxy nightclub in Romford.

Blue Poppies: Worn to commemorate the slow, grinding death of the Conservative Party.

Pink Poppies: Worn to commemorate both the war dead and also to highlight breast cancer issues.

Rainbow Poppies: Worn to commemorate gay war dead, who faced the dual persecution of homophobia and also the Kaiser shooting at them.

Discreet Pinstripe Poppies: Worn by gents, as it sets off the cut of their suit. Are we commemorating something?

Houndstooth check poppies: Worn to commemorate the death and injuries of shoppers caused by the recent sale of a new line in coats at H&M.

Blue-and-white poppies: Worn in memory of all the time wasted arguing about poppies on Facebook and twitter.

And of course, if you want to wear a red one you should definitely get it from these folks.