Tuesday 23 October 2018 by Gary Stanton

Hard Brexit supporter, James Dyson, to build patriotic new car plant in nearby Singapore


James Dyson cars in singapore

Brexit billionaire, James Dyson, has shown his true patriotic credentials by electing to build a new car plant in Singapore, a good eight thousand miles from his beloved UK homeland.

True Brit, Dyson, said the decision to locate production of his all-new, electric cars in Asia had nothing to do with the Brexit he and other loyal, Queen-loving patriots so fervently supported.

The lover of this green and pleasant land has been rightly commended for his decision to invest in green technology in a country to which commuting from Britain has traditionally proved to be a bit of a stretch due to its poor links with the M25.

Today’s news comes hot on the heels of a new cutting-edge, jingoistic hoover with eight rotary blades that plays Rule Britannia while you work and can say ‘fuck off’ in five European languages.

Keeping an entirely patriotic, straight face, Dyson claimed the decision to base his new factory in a country where you can pay workers fuck all has nothing to do with cost and is based on Singapore’s favourable climate in which rust struggles to gain a foothold.

However, the savvy businessman has not yet revealed what kind of batteries the new cars will use, but insists they would keep a Duracell bunny thumping out No Surrender to the IRA for at least five kilometres.

Industry expert, Simon Williams, said, “The batteries are believed to be of the lithium ion variety, like the ones they used in the Starship Enterprise, which was also built in Singapore by the grateful natives.

“Give Sir James some credit. When he says he will divert operations to Asia, he actually keeps to his word – unlike BMW , Nissan and all those other dithering cunts.

“This move offers flexible British workers the opportunity of a lifetime – to pull their kids out of local schools, which were shit to begin with, and relocate their entire families to Asia!”

This morning the extremely wealthy entrepreneur also announced plans for a low-carbon, electric sinking ship, which is full of environmentally-friendly rats who can’t wait to fucking do one.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: