Ryanair to charge extra to not sit next to a racist

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Budget airline Ryanair has announced an exciting new option for passengers who don’t want to sit next to an angry racist for the duration of their journey.

For just £25 Ryanair will ensure you are sat next to someone who has been certified ‘non-bigot’, and almost guaranteed not to abuse you for the colour of your skin for the entire flight.

Chief Executive Michael O’Leary said, “We at Ryanair value our customers above all else, that’s why we want to give them the paid option of avoiding being racially abused when they travel with us.

“Racism is part of life, we get that, but for a small fee we can ensure that you’re not sat in the racist-friendly section of the cabin, almost entirely removing the possibility of some overweight angry racist hurling insults in your direction.

“For another tenner will give you headphones in case they want to shout at you from a few rows back.”

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Customer Simon Williams told us, “I think they’re taking the piss. Twenty-five sodding quid not to sit next to a racist? The most I’d pay is a tenner.”

Another recent passenger said, “If I wanted to be abused racially I’d walk down the street in a provincial English town that voted heavily for Brexit.”

However, some passengers have said this just another example of the snowflake generation taking over and of Ryanair pandering to crybabies.

As one explained, “If I want to pay £50 for a return flight to an airport that’s a short three-hour bus journey from the city I thought I was going to, then I should have the right to abuse whoever I bloody like.

“Cabin crew, pilot or passenger. I don’t discriminate, I hate all of them.”