Nigel Farage to join Top Gear

author avatar by 5 years ago

Nigel Farage is to present the post-Brexit Top Gear because that’s the sort of thing that happens now, according to reports this morning.

Farage will host Top gear and bring the much-missed air of middle-aged befuddlement and racism back to the show, while adopting the shouty, overbearing style to which the shows fans will become accustomed.

“This is great news for the viewer, and better news for Nigel – everyone’s a winner,” beamed Simon Williams, booking agent for Nigel Farage.

“It was the logical next step – he’s already on every other BBC show. Everyone knows that Nigel Farage’s true home is Top Gear, where he will be able to segue neatly from criticising the handling of the new Jaguar to blaming the single market for traffic on the M25.

“Top Gear fans get a comical bigot back in the driving seat, and new fans will be attracted by seeing the show presented by a whole new kind of tosspot. It’s a brave new world.”

Top Gear fan, Elizabeth King, said, “Please don’t tell anyone that I’m a Top Gear fan. I’d much rather stay in the closet.

“But also, Nigel Farage will obviously be brilliant. He’s basically Clarkson dialled up to eleven, when you think about it – which you definitely shouldn’t, by the way.

“If you thought Clarkson and co were too PC, then I think you’re going to like the new Top Gear.

“Anyway, here’s to an entire series of Nigel criticising every car he tries that’s made in Europe while loudly insisting nothing will ever beat the great British engineering found in the Morris Minor.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!