Facebook aims to rebuild nation’s trust by hiring man no-one trusts

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Facebook, whose reputation has taken a pounding in the last two years, has hired Nick Clegg in an attempt to rebuild trust and credibility with its users.

The social media network, which was accused of being wildly unreliable and sharing messages from some deeply unsavoury characters, has hired the former Deputy Prime Minister as Head of Global Affairs and Communications to help shed that particular reputation.

Analysts told us that this year has been a poor one for Facebook, but the company is confident that Clegg’s record speaks for itself in delivering success for organisations he’s involved with.

“We were looking for someone whose word could be absolutely relied upon, and especially someone whose reputation with our target audience of aspirational 18-30-year-olds was utterly untarnished,” said CEO Mark Zuckerberg.

“And Nick was really compelling at interview. He even showed us a song he’d pre-prepared to apologise for whatever our next catastrophic fuck up is.

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“Clegg brings a lot to the role – it’s fair to say that absolutely nobody would have done a better job than him in government, and he tells us he’s really got his finger on the pulse of the kids and what they want.

“In fact, as far as I can see it the only person more respected and trustworthy than Nick Clegg is me!”, added Zuckerberg with a chuckle.