A five-year-old boy who broke Royal protocol by touching the facial hair of the sixth in line to the British throne is to spend the rest of his life in the Tower of London.
The child, who lives in a place with a typically odd name in Australia, evidently succumbed to the temptation everyone has faced when presented with a ginger beard, and gave it a stroke to see if it felt any different to a normal coloured one.
According to reports he was immediately arrested in Dubbo, NSW, by a soldier in a red coat and a big furry black hat and is now being transported back to London to face the just punishment for his treacherous behaviour.
Royal spokesperson Simon Williamsby-Toffer explained, “These protocols are put in place for a reason.
“You don’t just go about groping members of the Royal family as you see fit – that’s why Prince Philip has to be supervised whenever he’s in the same room as the Duchess of Cambridge.
“This young whippersnapper deserves to spend the rest of his life languishing in the Tower, to set an example for any other people from the colonies who might be tempted to touch one of God’s elected rulers.”