Tuesday 16 October 2018 by Alex Marsh

Finalised Brexit deal immediately shreds itself in frame


Brexit deal shredded

Politics was thrown into more confusion yesterday when Theresa May’s Brexit deal unexpectedly shredded itself, via a device hidden in its frame.

The Prime Minister stared on open-mouthed as the agreement slowly tore itself into hundreds of pieces.

“Oh dear, oh dear – she spent ages typing that out,” said one Conservative MP, sympathetically. “How unlucky can you get?!?”

“It was only minutes after she finally got the whole cabinet to sign up to it,” added a senior Minister. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to fish my resignation letter out of the mail.”

Mrs May’s prospective deal was due to be put to EU negotiators this evening. It is not known whether they were in on the stunt.

A high-level EU source who had witnessed the shredding said, “Il est regrettable, mais j’ai un autre photo tres amusant pour le Instagram!”

Speaking afterwards, the Prime Minister insisted that the incident had made her deal even more valuable.

“This was the best deal for Britain. And now it is even better!” she said.

“Can you still get Sellotape in the shops?”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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