The Crimson Guild, a bold party of adventurers out of the ancient, magical city of Waterdeep, are seeking a bard who recognises the profile-boosting opportunity that joining the group represents and so won’t want paying any gold or experience points.
The Guild, which will shortly set off on a quest to rid the lands of the vile necromancer Gorthax the Foul, acknowledges the bard role will require significant input of time and risk but hope to find a singer or musician willing to work for free in return for them spreading the word about the high quality of work done.
“We need someone to inspire competence through their art, chat information out of buxom bar-wenches and act as a flank for the rogue so he gets sneak attack damage”, said party leader Sardak the Bold.
“But we’re on a strict budget and times are tight, so unfortunately we can’t offer the traditional rewards of gold and level advancement.
“And any magic items found will need to go to core party members, so unfortunately they won’t be available either.
“However, when our quest is over and the undead legions of Gorthax vanquished they’ll be able to write tavern ballads about our great deeds – which everyone will know they wrote and that’ll be great for helping the lucky candidate find future work.
“Bards just sit round all day twiddling tunes and making up songs, so really this is a great opportunity for one to get their hobby into the practical workplace with proper wraiths and dragons and such. They should be thanking us.”
Bards unimpressed, hungry
Local bards – who Sardak described as ‘selfish and short-sighted’ – have thus far appeared unimpressed by the offer, noting that they have bills to pay and ‘exposure’ doesn’t put iron rations on the table or get them to second level.
“Yeah, I hear this sort of crap a lot”, we were told by bard Simeon the Troubadour. “Fight monsters, write inspiring odes and lob spells for nothing, it’ll be great for your future career and there might be more work out of it later.
“Screw that. I’ll stay home and work on my collection of ballads, which I call ‘Get rich or fail your saving throw tryin’.”