After a brief glitch, the world is back to normal as sexual harassment has once again become women’s fault.
The short, yet terrifyingly high-profile period during which it appeared men might be held accountable for their own actions, is finally over and society has returned to the normality of blaming victims for their own assaults.
“It was really worrying for a while, I grant you,” said man Simon Williams, who asked not to be named despite the fact it wouldn’t affect his promotion chances in the slightest.
“There was a point where I thought if I shouted ‘Woohooo! Give us a shot of your charlies, love!’ at a single woman walking down a dark street I might be in some way held responsible for doing so.
“It was really disconcerting. The idea that I might, in any way, have control over my behaviour or exhibit free will and self-control was deeply unsettling and against everything I’ve ever been taught.
“Thankfully that’s all over now, and if my hands happen to wander over a woman on public transport then it’s her fault for having cracking gazoingers and none of my doing at all.
“It’s like I’ve always said, if these women don’t want to get hassled by men, they shouldn’t sit next to me on the bus. It’s their fault, really.
“I think it’s important that we, as a society, remember that it’s not our sons who are harassers – it’s our daughters who are career-wrecking, false allegation making liars.”